All dragon tattoos are not created equal. Some look pretty cool, while others just look like re-fried shit. With the critically acclaimed remake, “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” hitting theaters this holiday season, check out these sexy pornstars and their affinity for flying mythological beasts.

 

1.) Tia Tanaka

Just your usual, run-of-the-mill dragon tat. So painfully boring. Sorry, Tia. Your Yakuza-lite dragon stencil makes you look like a Fast and Furious reject.

2.) Angelina Valentine

I’m not even sure whatever that shit is on Angelina’s left forearm can be classified as “dragon.” Wacky LSD slug springs to mind.

3.) Dana Vespoli

I like to imagine that when Dana Vespoli first walked into that fateful tattoo parlor, for an example of what she wanted, she brought in a takeout menu of a Chinese restaurant. All she’s missing is “ALL YOU CAN EAT LUNCH BUFFET” scrawled in neon letters to complete the effect. Fuck I made myself hungry.

4.) Francesca Le

The best picture I could find of Francesca’s ankle ink before I realized who gives a fuck. It’s not like you go to a strip club and stare at the rental carnie/DJ.

5.) Gianna Lynn

Okay, so maybe the stencil dragon would actually look better here versus the fantasy-inspired 8th grader doodle.

6.) Kayla Carrera

Perfect example of how LESS is MORE.

7.) Kelly Divine

Look like Kayla Carrera AND Kelly Divine both wasted 50 cents on the same gumball machine for their crap tats.

8.) Lily Paige

Not awful. But still going to look very stupid when she’s 74 doing water aerobics at the community pool.

 

9.) Mika Tan

Jesus Murphy, why even get something so small in the first place? When I squint my eyes, it looks like a gangrenous zombie bite.

10.) Roxy Jezel

What’s even worse than a tired, played-out dragon tattoo is one that isn’t fuckin’ done.  Figure it out. It looks like someone threw up on your back.

11.) Felix Vicious

When your dragon tattoo/Cobra Kai logo gets upstaged by a wrestling luchador mask, it’s time to retire that shit.

12.) Melrose Foxxx

Ah, clashing iconography! I kind of dig the crazy cult snake rising up from an orgy of flames. Don’t forget about good ‘ol boy J.C getting perpetually tortured on her left shoulder.

The Most Fucked-Up Dragon Tattoo You’ll Ever See

Whatever you do, do not click here.

 

 

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