Like dumb raccoons and tin foil, Man immediately becomes completely stupefied when a nice ‘ol bootay blazes past his vision.

Like titties, the female butt holds some mysterious, almost arcane dominion over all our feeble minds. Hell, anything that even slightly looks like a nice ass immediately makes me go a little brain-dead. I’ve taken my eyes off the road long enough to almost kill all my buddies in one fell swoop just because my peripherals spied a pumpkin patch, which my brain erroneously interpreted as a crop of beautiful, orange, glorious bums. With stems. You ever stroll into a yoga class? My god, it’s like your eyes turn into magnets and those sweet asses in stretchy pants are industrial superconductors.

So in celebration of the derriere, I’ve hunted down 10 fantastic porn star butts that I really think you need to see before you die.

 

1.) Alexis Texas

This blond headliner brings the ass quake like no other. For this reason, my dick has taken out a restraining order on my hand. All hail Alexis!

 

2.) Sienna Splash from “I Like Em White”

Who says white girls ain’t got no ass? Ain’t no pancake bootie here! This 18 year-old troublemaker really deserves your attention. Come back the 18th of January and visit Porn.com’s “I am Eighteen” for her newest scene. That’s how confident I am that you’ll be coming back for more.

3.) Briella Bounce from “Round Juicy Butts”

Lubing up a nice, juicy butt is like curing Superman of his affliction to Kryptonite, you just done and made that ass totally and completely invincible.

4.) Carmen Michaels from “Round Juicy Butts”

This wonderfully thick ghetto-blaster packs the real heat. Junk in the trunk indeed! Oh, you know you want to hear it.

 

5.) Paulina James from “Matrix Models”

Pay attention, fuck monkeys. Paulina James was cherry-picked from our Matrix Collection. No, not that cyberpunk flick where Keanu Reeves was actually over-qualified for, nope, Matrix pornstars are hotter than hot.

 

6.) Roxanne Hall, Alexandra Silk, Lya Pink from “Cougar Sex Club”

I love love love MILFs and cougars, silver foxes, pumas (the shoes), lynxes but bobcats can go fuck themselves. Except for Goldthwait, he’s beyond rad.

 

7.) Ashli Orion

Taken from our friends over at LethalHardcore. When a rage fuck is in order, Ashli Orion is definitely your girl.

8.) Brittany Banxxx From Porn.com TV’s  “Whore-ders”

If you still haven’t been to our Porn.com TV page, you are missing out on a lot of hot porn parodies.

9.) Charley Chase from “Whale Tail ‘N”

 

 

10.) Jada Stevens from “Miami Fuego”